I don’t know what to do.

There are about 100 reasons my siblings & I resent my mom. We’ve always had a rough relationship with her. She’s made our lives really complicated.

Despite all that, I am thankful to have a roof over my head, food to eat & a good head on my shoulders (well, because of both my parents).

She had a stroke two days ago. Her speech was completely impaired & my brother claimed she wasn’t all there. (Mind you, my mom & dad are still in Thailand). He had emailed me at 10pm Thai time. It makes me feel helpless that I can’t do anything. That I can’t just be there.

The last time my mom & I talked on the phone, we argued. I’m starting to really hate that our relationship always comes to arguing. Then stuff like this happens & it’s like, “Couldn’t I have just stayed calm & been a better kid?”

I know how hard life is with her around. I know how much I sometimes hate it or wish it could be different. But what hurts the most because of this situation is that I don’t know what life is WITHOUT her. & that sense of unknown locks me up.

I’m so scared that she’ll have another when she’s traveling back to the US. I can only hope for the best.

1. seriouslywhothefuckismr12000 said: Hang in there. We’re all here for you, and we’re all wishing the best.
2. thespins said: baby babe i’m so sorry call me if you wanna talk it out
3. nikoriana said: Oh wow. That’s awful to hear. I truly hope she’s okay and stays healthy.
4. pirin posted this